be S T I L L

a special thanks to Isaac O. for letting me borrow this amazing image!

Most of my posts are regarding concepts or situations I've gone through and overcome.

Today, I felt led to write about something I currently struggle with.

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know I am God."

For me, one of the hardest things in the world is saying and doing nothing... just sitting and waiting. You know, in those moments your mind begins to wonder... ideas and assumptions race through your head. From which you choose to act or not... (for me it was often the former).

I recognize now that this place has so often been the enemy's playground in my life - my need to know, to figure things out, to be two steps ahead.   Although, outwardly it appears to be a great strength. From the world's perspective I am a problem solver, great manager of ideas and situations, a multi-tasker.  However, inwardly and spiritually I struggle with the not doing; the concept of being still.

Recently, the Lord has really been stretching me and pulling this out of me! haha! My Goodness! It has been difficult! There have been many tests that I have failed, and some I have passed.

I just praise God for the successes and pray for grace for the failures. It's a process. I am constantly learning and growing, and have to allot the grace for myself for that in my own life.

Learning how not to beat myself up and how not to fix things has been tough - learning to let go and trust God in regard to being still has been an amazing, beautiful, and anxiety filled journey so far.

Looking back on this chapter of my life - i know it will be an awesome testament of God's faithfulness and His pursuit of us, as He refines us to draw us closer to Him.

So, here I stand - almost as if in quick sand. Having a great desire to at least try to wiggle myself out, but knowing the best thing for me to do is to sit still. He will pull me out of the messes I get myself in. I just have to be patient, be still, and know He is God!